Reproof

Biblical reproof is telling someone what they are doing wrong with an intent to restore them to a right relationship with God. It is definatly a lost art in our generation. We dont rebuke or reprove those we love. I know I have fallen short here, but I also know that there have been VERY few times when anyone has loved me enough to tell me where I am sinning as well. I dont think it is necessarily that we dont LOVE each other, I think we just are scared! We are scared of how they will react, how it will affect our relationship, if there will be lots of tension; but shouldnt we be more scared that by letting them go on in their sin they may find theirself going to hell?!? When you put it that way, OUCH! We are sometimes so blindsided by our own sins! And when we do realize it, usually only cause we have hit rock bottom, we wonder why no one ever told us? Did people you call your "friends" not really see the area of disobedience in your life ... or were they too scared to call you out on it. Having to tell someone that you love about an area of their life where you see the are fallin from Christ is perhaps the scariest thing we will ever do. We must pray about it and be genuine when we go to them. I know a lot of the times I think that hinting to someone about a sin in there life is good enough. Its NOT! People are oblivious to vauge indirect hints. Sometimes we feel that we are not qualified to reprove someone cause we are not perfect, or even worse cause we struggle with the EXACT same thing that we are gonna call them out on. And a lot of times we think well I will just pray for them. Scripture is clear that as Christians we are called to help each other become more like Christ. As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. (Proverbs 27:17) If we claim to be Christians we are held to the word of God as our final authority. I am CLAIMING Jesus Christ as my savior! So I am beggin you, if you are also making that same claim and can see areas of my life where I have fallen short PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE love me enough to call me on it. I may not even know what I am doing. I want to be made like Christ more and more every day! I cant promise I wont get my feelings hurt, but guess what I WILL get over it. It is very humbling to have someone come to you and want to help you. I will do everything in my power to receive reproof as well as I can. I am dyin for someone to love me enough to hold me accountable. And we urge you brothers, warn those who are idle, encourage the timid, help the weak, and be patient with everyone. (1 Thess 5:14)

Amazing

So I only cried minimally today. My Mom told me that she is taking my Dad to Houston tomorrow to the heart specialist. He has been having problems and the doctors said his heart was enlarged. Not really sure what that means, but I am guessing its not good. So please keep him and my family in your prayers with that.
Tonight was such a nice distraction, I actually enjoyed myself. I FINALLY caught up with my girl Sarah whom I feel like I NEVER EVER see anymore. We hung out and caught up. Then we went to some friends house. We had such a good time. Just laughing and joking around, I felt so carefree. Why cant every day be like that? Why do we complicate things so much that we dont even enjoy life anymore? These are some friends that are definatly good to have around. Things are not complicated and everyone just enjoys each others company.
LOVE LIFE. Love the people around you. Love GOD. Nothing else really matters. God will take care of you, just be obedient. Stop making things complicated, just obey!
Well, i just had some more tears. My Bible study leader JUST emailed us that they had been chosen as foster parents for a 1 year old and 2 year old. HOW AMAZING. They had just gotten approved to be foster parents and how quickly God answered their prayers. The children have been taken from their mother for neglect. This is such an amazing opportunity the Hendrick family has to show the love of our great, amazing GOD! Please keep them in your prayers, that all goes well and they get to adopt the 2 kids and their 5 day old baby sister as well. The Hendrick family is so full of love and compassion. I know God will bless them, but this whole process can take a while and be really hard.
Hope that everyone is having a great week!

Changes

Ok this has been one very tough, trying week for me ... and its only Tuesday! I have been praying for God to show me areas in my life where I am being disobedient AND relationships in my life that were not God centered. Wow after you beg long enough, it all starts to hit at once! I have seriously cried so much these past 3 days it is RIDICULOUS! But God is showing me things, so its ok! I'm getting clarity. This process of retraining myself is gonna be long and hard but I am so excited to know that I am doing it WITH God. Things in my life are changing and I have to quit resisting it! I am so scared to let things happen. It is time to start trusting GOD. I have started to realize just how much I rely on others and it makes me sick! I think this is why I have been so dissapointed and felt unloved and unneed these last few weeks. God wanted to BREAK me! He had to ... to make me see I am NOT looking to HIM for fulfillment 100% of time. He KNEW that one of my BIG sins was my people pleasing heart. He KNOWS, He has BROKEN me, and now I know He will RESTORE me. Don't get me wrong, I have a genuine heart for others. I just LOVE to LOVE on others. But sometimes, I have selfish motives! I know that sometimes I LOVE others so they will love me back, not because I want to be like Christ. When I stop and look at my selfish heart, I just can't believe it! I have just been wondering when my life got to be so screwed up, when did I start letting sin OVERTAKE my life. I am supposed to be a Christian, and sometimes my life does NOT reflect that. But hey I have decided that I am a work in progress. This may take time, it will take discipline and lots of talking with God. I just have to be patient so let Him work in my life, and be WILLING to change my ways. And guess what, just when I get one area of my life in order I am certain that God will just get to work on another area of my life. How great it is to have a God who is always at work in our lives.

Relationships

Why do most people want, need, or desire relationships? I dont just mean boyfriend/girlfriend relationships ... I mean EVERY kind of relationship out there. In bible study we just threw out some reasons ... loneliness, comfort, acceptance, value, worth, feel important, to be needed, to be desired, to be told we are beautiful, to feel special, to have attention ... these are just a few. When you really put it out there you realize how SELFISH we are. We talked about God-centered relationships and how they should look. If you are in a relationship of any kind (friendships included) for any of the reasons I mentioned more than likely that is not a healthy relationship. We were challenged to sit down and really question our friendships this week. Without even sitting down and thinkin I can name some that were not or are not glorifyin to my God. Ouch. Kinda sucks. When we look for a PERSON to fullfill all thoses things in our lives, we MUST know how much we will be let down. GOD is the only one who can do that. When we get angry, our get our feelings hurt, or tell someone off we should stop and ask ourselves why we are so worked up. Did the person commit a sin against you, or did they just do something you didnt like? People who are in Christ Jesus should not live the 50/50 relationship mentality. If you scratch my back I will scratch yours. We can't be friends based on the cirumstance ... its unstable! And our close friends should be those who refine us and who we refine. So many times we think of close relationships as the place where it is ok to sin. Who else can you gossip too, or lie to, or be bitter and angry to, and whatever sins you deal with. NO! Because we are close we should make each other more like God. If we really care about each other, we need to help each other be more and more like Christ. We should push each other to Him. But most importantly we should just love each other with all of our heart and expect nothing in return; which is so contradictory to the worlds view.
And as far as opposite sex friendships go, there were a lot of questions brought up tonight. I actually learned a lot here. Heather said girls have been trained so much to "guard your heart, guard your heart" and not let guys in. And I am not going to lie, after getting hurt one time I had that mentality (and still do to some extent). I thought I would just be friends with the guys in my life, but never get close to them, never let them see the real me. But she thinks this is unhealthy to a certian extent. We are not called to be transparent with the same sex only. It never says in the Bible! But there are lines. Advice we were given was to ask yourself if what you are about to share would be something you would be comfortable sharing with a biological brother than its probablly safe to share with your brothers in Christ. We must make sure we don't have motives for sharing things with them. Women are so good at manipulating, dont use this kind of intimacy as a weapon. But we have to be careful not to be stumbling blocks for each other. And they said that girls should not be afraid to ask a guy what his intentions are with her, especially if he has become a distraction to her. SO GOOD! I never really thought about it, and I think we are afraid of rejection. But if you are spending your time wondering if he likes you or doesn't like you (as more than a platonic friend), than he has probablly become a distraction, maybe even an idol, in your life. We spend too much of our precious time being distracted! God does not need us single people distracted, He has so much for us to do. So just ask your friend. And this goes for guys too. If he is a great, godly man he wont get mad or stop being your friend (although things may be uncomfortable for a bit), but I think he will respect you for wanting to stay focused on Jesus Christ. I did not mean to ramble on for this long ... hopefully I have encouraged you in some way tonight! God Bless

The Pushover Personality

The other day in my Excellent Wife Bible Study we talked about Philiippians 2:3 which says (in the NIV) "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider other better than yourselves". WOW. God's word is so good and so clear. I like to think I have a pretty big heart when it comes to loving on others, but I started to question if there is a line where to much is too much. This world has trained us to stand up for ourselves, do what we want, dont let people run over you. I have heard these things SOOO many times in the course of my life. I really struggled with this a while back and my friend Sarah gave me this verse "For GOD is pleased with you when, for the sake of your conscience, you patiently endure unfair treatment". (1 Peter 2:19) So I talked to Michelle (my mentor) and Heather and Jenn (my Bible study leaders) about this. They said just because my "doormat" (my word not theirs) personality was NOT the norm does NOT mean that it is not how I should act. Afterall, how many ways of the Bible are actually the norm? So being a "pushover" may not necessiarly be the way the world would suggest I act, its exactly how Jesus commands us to! Now don't get me wrong, you are supposed to stand up when the other person is involved in sin or tryin to involve you in it. But if its just a perspective issue, or a comfort thing ... its not worth fighting about. Another brief thing I want to throw out there is how much we have been taught that lying is OK! "It's just a white lie" some say, or "you were doing it to protect them". But I did some research and there are a TON of verses, SCRIPTURE to back up how God sees lies, even "little white" ones. In Revelation 22:15 God compares liars to other sinners "Outside are the dogs, those who practice magic acts, the sexually immoral, the murders, the idolators, and everyone who LIES and practices falsehood"! WOW! He sees lyin the same way he sees murder! Have we seriously become so brain washed that we believe its OK?!? I know that I had. I didnt realize how HUGE it is, and how often we (myself included) just act like it is nothing or we justify it!!! I have found so many convicting and encouraging scriptures out there to meditate on and read EVERY day to remind myself. Here are a few of my favorite:Proverbs 13:3 "He who guards his lips guards his soul".Psalm 19:14 "God, may everything I think and everything I say today bring you pleasure". Proverbs 12:22 "The Lord detests lying lips, but He delights in men who are truthful". I know this was kind of long, but I was lying in bed and God would not let me sleep until I got this all out there, in case someone out there reading this needed to hear that. So please leave comments or encouragment or just a HELLO. Thanks and Gig 'Em!

Speechless...almost!

I am so thankful and truly blessed to be at a churh where older woman so desire to pour into their younger sisters. WOW! I spent 2 hours tonight with 3 older women and a younger woman from my church. It was such a sweet time of lifting up each other and learning and just being real. These women were wonderful. The told us things, we asked personal things, they want to try and save us the heartache of what they have been through in their lives. I respect these women so much and hope to one day be as much as an inspiration to younger women as these ladies are too me. There is so much to know about being a woman, being single, being a wife, being a mom and still loving God with all your heart at the same time. Oh how I have desired to have relationships like this, to have real christian fellowship. I am just so excited about the things I have to overcome. I am so excited to see how devoted I can be to my God and how he will bless my heart for being obedient to Him. I want to wake up each and every morning more on fire for God than the day before. I want to be the kinda woman that someone who sees the way I live my life says "Wow she is SOLD OUT for Jesus Christ"! So thats the goal and I hope it is for you as well. PLEASE let me know any way I can be prayin for you and I would appreciate any prayers you could send up on my behalf. We are in this together!

Unanswered Prayers

Wow! I can't say it enough ... God is AMAZING! When I stop to see how far He has brought me, I am speechless. This time last year and pretty much my whole life before then I can remember one constant. I thought I HAD to have a love interest! These interests were always people I knew I could never be with it seemed! I grew up with the mentality that I had to have a guy to make me really happy, even though it never happened. High school was somtimes pure torture! I had lots of friends, but you know how it is. They all jumped from guy to guy, or were exclusive with a guy. I wish I only knew then what I know now! We can't look for completeness in a person on this earth! Only God will provide that satisfaction in our lives. But last year I just prayed and prayed and prayed for God to take this desire from me. And He slowly would change my heart, but I would get frustrated and decide I knew better! But time and time again when I would stray or try to control my destiny God would be there tellin me He had other plans. This time last year I would have been desperatly tryin to win some guys attention and love, but God has set me free! He has shown me that I dont need an eartly relationship to be loved! He has ALL the love I could ever need! ALL of it!!! I am just at a point in my life now where I dont look for that at all. God has finally got it thru to me that I am ok where I am, He has a plan for me! I truly believe that now! I can rest knowing that He will provide for me; maybe not when I think He should but in HIS time. I look back now and think of these boys who I just knew I had to marry ... and I cant help but laugh. I can see He knows what He is doing! And this goes for EVERY aspect of out lives. He really does know whats best for us! Know that, trust that. So I will end with the chorus of this VERY appropriate song by Garth Brooks.
Sometimes I thank God
For unanswered prayers
Remember when you're talkin'
To the man upstairs
That just because He doesn't answer
Doesn't mean He don't care!
Some of God's greatest gifts are
unanswered prayers...!

Control

Being a control freak is a sin! I know this, and yet God can't seem to get me to pry my fingers from the control of my life. WHY??? I think God needs my help in anything? Doubtful. So anyway here is a little poem to better explain myself:

CONTROL
Life throws us a curveball to knock us off track;
We have it all planned, then something sets us back.
How naïve and prideful I can be,
To think God needs input from me
I have to submit my plans to my God
And accept what He has in store, no matter how odd.
Why do we want to have control so bad?
We can’t let go, then we end up wishing we had.
When we are of this world we become empty inside.
We fight for material things, our souls get set aside,
Trusting in me makes my life go up and down, I’m tired of the ride;
my feet desire the stable ground.
I desire to be planted in God alone
This will require me to get off my throne.
Time is precious and we must act fast
Make an impact, one that will last.

I just praise God for all the gifts He has given me. I am so blessed beyond words. He never ceases to amaze me. Even when I dont deservev His love, its there for me! Even when I am being stubborn and refuse to listen to Him, He calls me back to Him. Thats just our God ... he is that GREAT!!

With it getting close to that holiday us single people DREAD, I thought this poem I wrote would be quite appropriate. Just remember than no worldy love can ever compare to the love our Father has for each and every one of us. 1 John 4:1o ... read it! AMAZING ... that's our God! Well here is the poem. I just want yall to know that this was a struggle for me (as I am sure it is for others out there reading this ... if anyone reads this that is). BUT my God is so wonderful and faithful that he has delivered me out of this season of my life. He wants to take care of you and your struggles as well, so tell Him whats got you down! He IS the cure!
In God’s Hands
I’m falling so deep into this sin
Putting a guy over THE Guy again
God forgive me and call me back to you
This isn’t the first time; this is nothing new
I really want and need him to love me
So I force myself into his life selfishly
I know that I am an amazing girl
And I don’t need him in my world
My God is wonderful and loves me so much
So why do I keep dreaming about his touch
By the worldly standard this is really no big deal.
But You have called me to more, I know you are real.
So many friends I have watched get hurt
Idolatry isn’t something with which I wish to flirt
When love is in the air and engagement rings can be seen
Know that worldly love and jewelry can’t take the place of our King
Why do we try so hard to be loved by a man?
When we know he can’t love us like our God can.
God knows the desires I have within.
He will be faithful to deliver; only He knows when.
We chose guys over God and let Satan win
It’s a vicious cycle that I’m tired of being in.
So guard your heart, its time to go to war
I don’t know about you, but I don’t wanna lose anymore
God and His love are more than I need
I’m taking the back seat and letting Him lead.
Karen Davis
2005
PS I WOULD LOVE FEEDBACK FROM ANYONE OUT THERE READING MY BLOG!!! Please tell me what you think, tell me you have also been through what I am going thru, that you think I am insane, that you understand, that I am not alone with these sinfuls areas in my life, or just leave me some encouragment! It will be GREATLY appreciated!
God Bless

Confessing more sin

Well something happened today that usually happens to me when I go to Living Hope. Major conviction...ouch! Definatly not a fun place to be, but encouraging because that means God is still workin on me. If He didnt love me, he would NOT correct me. When I hear people talkin about the sin of pride or prideful people I think of arrogant, know it alls, not myself. But I know that by pretending to have it all together that I am being prideful. By not letting others in on my REAL feelings, I am being prideful. And by not confessing sin in my life, I am being prideful. And tonight at Bible Study I was convicted of yet another sin of mine that I often overlook; how I react to people and situations. God has called us to be holy as He is holy, not to be better than so and so. Pretty good is not good enough for our God! I look at the way I treat people when I am frustrated or anxious. My snappy attitude or rude remark or even sarcasm IS SIN!!! Philipians 2:3 basically tells us that we are to put other's over ourselves. Our reactions should NOT be contingent on other people around you. God has called his children to be LIKE him! So we need to stop being so petty about all the little disagreements and just love the other people! In Ephesians 5:21 we are told to submit to one another out of reverance for Christ. That is straight from the Bible; it is the TRUTH. We must live by the truth ... I know I fall short in this area. I apologize to anyone reading this if I have done this to you, if I have snapped at you over something stupid, if I have had a sarcastic comment to say when we disagreed. I recognize this as sin and confess it now!
I will end with this really good advice Heather told us tonight. She said this is something very important to know before you think you are ready to get married!Very good and kinda scary! You cant possibly think that you will submit to and obey an imperfect, human, man when you can't even obey your PERFECT God.

Reality is sinking in

Wow! Can you believe it is already February (or as my 2006 calendar says Febrero). January came and went so fast. Week 3 of school is almost complete, crazy! With Tiffany reminding me of how many days she has left here at A&M, its really starting to hit me; I am getting old and time is flying. I have already had friends graduate and leave this town. Its REAL. I have lost touch with friends, friends I may seldom get to see again, friends I used to lean on. And I am about to lose more! I'm just amazed how fast this time went by. And I am scared that I'll never make friends like these again. I know without a doubt that God will take care of me so I am tryin not to be too sad about it. But my good pal Chris is about to graduate and leave! Chris has always been there for me and I can count on him to cheer me up or give advice. But soon he will gradute and leave to move on to bigger and better things, just like the others. It seems so ironic that just when things are getting good and routine and dependable, they change. I know change is good and all, its just scary. But it's time to stop being scared and just enjoy every minute. This goes for every aspect in life. I was listening to KSBJ when Chris Tomlin came on. Medidate on these words:
I want to live like there's no tomorrow
I want to dance like no one's around
I want to sing like nobody's listening
Before I lay my body down
I want to give like I have plenty
I want to love like I'm not afraid
I want to be the man I was meant to be
I want to be the way I was made
This is my prayer for myself and you to live by everyday! We aren't guaranteed tomorrow. So stop being prideful and tell those people in your life that you love them. Dont be embarrassed hug them, love them! Stop being scared and tell that stranger or classmate how GREAT your God is and what a difference He has made in your life. Don't save up all that money, you cant take it with you! Worship God with that voice, who cares if you can't sing (I bet you are better than me)! Just be like Christ. I know this is very cliche but really "what would Jesus do"? Make the most of your days, share, live, love, laugh! Be joyful always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus! 1 Thess 5:16-18 !