Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Another good one...

My princess you're never alone
You never need to hold on to anyone out of fear of being alone, my precious princess. I am with you wherever you are. I am the friend who walks in when the world walks out. I created you to have strong relationships, My love, and I see your desire to be close to someone. If you will seek Me first and come to Me with your wants and needs, I will choose your friends for you. I also will bless those friendships abundantly. Don’t settle for less than My best just to fill your schedule with people to see and places to go. I want to reach you with the reality of My presence in you first, and then you will be ready for real relationships that are orchestrated by Me.
Love,
Your King and your Best Friend

“And be sure of this: I a am with you always, even to the end of the age” Matthew 28:20

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Good stuff!

I got this book His Princess: Love Letters from Your King. I wanted to share an short piece from it that really touched my heart! Hope you enjoy!

My Princess you don't have to fit in!
I know you want to be accepted by others, but you were not made to fit in. You, my princess, were created to stand out. Not to draw attention to yourself, but to live the kind of life that leads others to Me. Remember, it's your choices that will pave your path to life. I will not force you to do anything. I have given you a free will to walk with Me or to walk away from Me. I want you to know that you can put your crown on at anytime and let people know that you belong to Me. You have a royal call on your life. I want you to remember you wear the crown of everlasting life, and through you I will do abundantly more than you could ever dare to dream.

Love,
Your King and Crown Giver

Am I know trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.
Galatians 1:10

Sunday, June 11, 2006

Fix me!

Sometimes I am just too sensitive for my own good. I don’t mean to be. I am glad that I am so passionate about people, but I think I have taken it too far. I get my feelings hurt so easily and take what people say to heart. I’ve been this way as long as I can remember. I don’t know how to fix it, how to fix me. I have found myself to be quite the bitter, angry 23 year old. And what do I have to be bitter about?!? I have a great family who have always supported me and am blessed to be at such an amazing university. I don’t have any physical defects that cause my life to be any harder than most peoples. So then why do I find myself in this whirlwind of anger and self-pity? I just don’t get it. Satan has done such a number on me. He has pushed and pushed, fed me lie after lie and somewhere along the way I have bought into him. Somehow I let him convince me that I am not good enough, not smart enough, not pretty enough, for any person of this world to love, much less for GOD to love me! We girls have been told time after time, by friends and family and even God’s word, that we are all those things and so much more. So why is it so easy for us to buy into this world’s ideas? It is so frustrating for me. Maybe I am having to go through this difficult time because God knows I look to much to people for my happiness. He knows how bad I desire to have their approval, their love. God knows that I sometimes (quite frequently actually) put people in my life over Him. And sometimes I think it would just be easier if He just took all the people out of my life. I have faith though that with God’s help I can beat this. I don’t believe that He wants me isolated and alone. He can do amazing things in my life, if I will just let go and give it to Him. I guess I have just been too stubborn. Things are getting to the point now though where I realize I don’t have a choice. Now matter how hard I try I can’t do it, not in the flesh. I am completely broken and know that nothing else I try will work. I HAVE to put all my faith in Jesus Christ and let Him work in ways that I can’t even imagine.
On a side note I have really been hit with the fact that one reason I am so unhappy is because of ME. I know there are people in my life that God has placed around me to LOVE me. But I don’t know what my deal is. I just push them away. I don’t want to let anyone get too close. I think I am afraid of letting anything good to happen to me. If that makes any sense at all? I pull away from the ones who WANT in my life and try to get the approval of people who could really care less if they only saw me once a month. I think I know that and it just seems safer to pursue those friendships that I know will be one sided and surface level. I don’t have it figured out. I pretty much have nothing figured out. Any insight would be greatly appreciated!

Monday, June 05, 2006

Bad Blogger!

So I guess I am an official bad blogger! It has been over a month since our list chat. Life has just been so amazingly busy. God is so God. I am hoping that this Summer I can really slow down and concentrate on Him and what is really important. But with all the weddings, wedding showers, and baby showers going on it will be a challenge. I have formed relationships with new people and learned so much about Godly love as opposed to worldly love. I have been shown love by people who barely know me. I have been invited into their homes and their families and even their hearts! What better example of Christ! I am so convicted and desire to show that kinda live to everyone I come in contact with, even the people I force myself to love. We have to pray that God will show us how to love "the unloavable". We cant do it on our own, in our flesh! We all have these people in our life. Some refuse the love we try to give, some reject us and what we stand for, and then there are some who just annoy us. Whatever excuse we come up with, know there really is NO EXCUSE!!! We are called to love EVERYONE! Not to love those who love us back, not to love only those who are like us, and certinaly not to love people we like!!! We are to pray for our enemies! WOW! Thats what we are called to do. And so often I fall short. In church we started our relationship series and I was just blown away after the first sermon yesterday. We are supposed to love UNSELFISHLY! When you really think about it that is much harder to do that say. A song they played really said it best:
Everything you hold in your hand
still you make time for me
I can't understand
I sometimes dont understand how God has time and the energy to love me. But He does! He is so good! And you just have to remember that! We really need to love one another. I know I have a lot to learn, but I know God is faithful to teach me. I want to be some moldable and teachable to become more like Him!