A Crazy Life

So life in the substituting world is quite interesting. I have been subbing for a week now. First day was not so good. I was in a pretty rough Title 1 middle school. I was teaching 7th grade language arts. It was quite a surprise! My phone was stolen from inside my desk ... yea not so good. I called my Mom after school, from the office at the school, crying! Ha I know what your thinking. I am not that big of a baby though. This was just the icing on the cake for a few bad weeks. And not to mention it was the month anniversary of Mamaw's passing.
I enjoy subbing. I am getting a good feel for the area, what grades I enjoy, and what schools are effective and good to work in. I have had some rough days, and some rough experiences. But I am learning!
It has now been 5 weeks since Mamaw left us. I miss her so much. I find myself having breakdowns at the weirdest times, over the weirdest things. I want to pick up the phone and call her, I want to send her the annual Halloween card, I want to hug her and I know I can't. The upcoming holidays will be hard I am told. I have never lost anyone really close to me. This is so weird, so hard, so sad.
I am still adjusting to living here. Its been so weird living alone in a new place. Its been hard not having a church home, and church family. Familiarity is not here... where to get my haircut, where to get my eyebrows waxed, where to shop, where to buy gas, doctors???? All the little things, things I was comfortable with in Bryan, sometimes stress me out! I know I am crazy!
Anywho, this is just my way of journaling, getting things out! Hopefully will do this more often!

While I'm Waiting...

I heard this song from the movie Fireproof. It is such a humbling, and fitting reminder of where I am in life right now, well where I should be as I go thru this complicated, crazy, scary, time in life. I am so antsy, so un-content, so alone right now. Its like I am waiting for my life to get back to normal... whatever that it. I am waiting to get a real job, I am waiting to stop crying everytime I think about my Mamaw, I am waiting to be married and have my own family instead of watching on the sidelines, I am waiting to have friends who care, I am waiting for my life to mean something, I am waiting to be happy, I am waiting to find a church and body here in a new town... and this song describes everything that I am NOT doing as I wait. Such a beautiful reminder and encouragment.

I’m waiting
I’m waiting on you, Lord
And I am hopeful
I’m waiting on you, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait.
I WILL MOVE AHEAD, BOLD AND CONFIDENT. TAKING EVERY STEP IN OBEDIENCE. WHILE I’M WAITING, I WILL SERVE YOU. WHILE I’M WAITING, I WILL WORSHIP. WHILE I’M WAITING, I WILL NOT FAINT. I’LL BE RUNNING THE RACE, EVEN WHILE I WAIT.
I’m waiting
I’m waiting on you, Lord.l
And I am peaceful
I’m waiting on you, Lord.
Though it’s not easy
But faithfully, I will wait.
Yes, I will wait.
I WILL SERVE YOU WHILE I’M WAITING, I WILL WORSHIP WHILE I’M WAITING, I WILL SERVE YOU WHILE I’M WAITING, I WILL WORSHIP WHILE I’M WAITING,I WILL SERVE YOU WHILE I’M WAITING, I WILL WORSHIP WHILE I’M WAITING ON YOU LORD.