So I have pretty much decided I am supposed to TEACH. Which I have been super excited about! BUT the closer it gets, the more anxious I become and the more I let Satan get a foot in the door.
I have started to doubt my abilities to handle children. I have always known that I LOVE them, but now I worry that I will be too much of a pushover. I worry I am not strong enough emotionally to handle the baggage that these children will come with ... basically I WORRY ... hmm didn't realize till writing this out ... WORRY WORRY WORRY! God says do not fear ... hmm I am fearing man in a major way. ouch
So the other part of me is trying to convince myself that teaching is not a practical job for me at this time in my life. I have convinced myself that the bank would be better because I don't have all the time off at holidays ... since I have no one to spend them with anyway. I may as well work year around since I don't have a family to care for! Somehow I have let people, the culture, and even my own mind convince my that I don't have the life to be a teacher. ugh!
Why is it so easy for me to get caught up in all the crap of the world?!? Why can't I just be content where I am?
Please pray that I can stay focused and just do what God calls me, regardless of what the world says!
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6 comments:
Karen,
I don't know if you were there for the message from Butch this morning, but he spoke directly on this. Fearing the Lord and NOT fearing man. NOT worrying, but trusting. If you weren't there, go online this week and listen when they post it.
There is something healing in knowing our identity rests securely in Christ - that it is not the love of others in this world that makes us whole - but the love of God Himself.
His grace is greater than your biggest mistake, failure, or fear. Pray for Him to give you a perfect love for the kids you will teach. Pray also for discretion and courage in the areas where you worry about being too weak. But pray especially for God's perfect love to replace your fear. "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear" - I John 4:18 That doesn't mean you'll DO everything perfectly - it means you'll love with God's love and God's love is always perfect.
I've been down a lot of long hard roads. And I have learned this much - the one God calls you to trust Him down isn't usually the easy road. But it's the ONLY worthwhile road. My pastor from a long time ago used to say, "Christianity isn't like tubing down the Guadalupe on a summer day. The real Christian life is like white water rafting. Hang on for dear life b/c you are in for the ride of all time!"
Dare to believe Him. Dare to put all your eggs in one basket and trust "the One who is able to do exceedingly and abundantly above all you could ask or imagine." He loves our faith - He honors even the minutest amount of it. He knows how hard it is for us to trust that which we cannot see. Taking the road that is sure to bring trials is the "unseen" road of faith. So, when you try it out and find times become rough, remember this: "These have come so that your faith--of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire--may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory, and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed." (I Peter 1)
Here are some verses Gary and I are using right now in relation to him moving down and the giant leap of faith it's looking like God may be asking us to take:
Psalm 37:3-5 (AMP)
"3Trust (lean on, rely on, and be confident) in the Lord and do good; so shall you dwell in the land and feed surely on His faithfulness, and truly you shall be fed.
4Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He will give you the desires and secret petitions of your heart.
5Commit your way to the Lord [roll and repose each care of your load on Him]; trust (lean on, rely on, and be confident) also in Him and He will bring it to pass."
Twice in there He says to trust. I pay attention when God says things twice. (Even when it feels scary).
Praying Blessings of Assurance and Peace Will Rest Within Your Soul,
Alanna
sweet Karen...
Trust in what the Lord has blessed you with, the talent you have with young children. I think teaching is super terrific and perfectly wonderful for "this time" in your life! You go girl! Kids these days need amazing women of faith to teach and nurture them. :) Love you!
I think you would be a great teacher, it certainly is a position in which you can utilize your strengths. You were meant to do more than work at a bank, I'm sure of it. You can affect lives in the classroom.
All the vacation time is great to relax, visit friends, drive right up the road to see your family. You have plenty of people to spend it with. That's different than having no "significant other" to spend it with. It's also less important. That's something that you can be content with at your present stage in life and another thing that you needn't to worry about.
I have a teacher friend in Midland who he discussed with me how content he is being single at this current stage in life. I'm know he has plenty to say on this matter, but this is another topic altogether.
James 1 is a great chapter that teaches about patience, prayer and faith. You could spend days pulling truths from that chapter.
Love You Karen!
Very few teachers go into teaching being able to control the discipline issues that arise in the classroom. It's a learn-as-you-go approach! You watch other teachers, try new ideas, read books, go to conferences, etc.
If God told you to do this, do it. Don't hold back. He'll take care of the rest.
Melodi
No is able, but we learn by the grace of God. He'll give you all you need.
I know it is not the same, but I never thought I would be able to handle a cabin full of girls for a month and it was SO hard my first year, but God has molded me and told me to trust him. It's hard to work with children, but He'll provide for you!
And I think you'll make a GREAT teacher!
Karen, I just wanted to say... keep the faith! Don't lose sight of the things you know the Lord is telling you, satan tries to play those confusion games and he tries to bring lots of other nice looking opportunities our way- like fruit from a forbidden tree- but don't think about it, don't look at it, don't even give him the time of day! :) Stick to the promises of the Lord and what you know is from Him.
And I dido what Alanna was saying, cuz it's good stuff!!
...also... i'm ready for you to add a new post to your blogg, you're getting behind! :) hehe
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