Relationships

Why do most people want, need, or desire relationships? I dont just mean boyfriend/girlfriend relationships ... I mean EVERY kind of relationship out there. In bible study we just threw out some reasons ... loneliness, comfort, acceptance, value, worth, feel important, to be needed, to be desired, to be told we are beautiful, to feel special, to have attention ... these are just a few. When you really put it out there you realize how SELFISH we are. We talked about God-centered relationships and how they should look. If you are in a relationship of any kind (friendships included) for any of the reasons I mentioned more than likely that is not a healthy relationship. We were challenged to sit down and really question our friendships this week. Without even sitting down and thinkin I can name some that were not or are not glorifyin to my God. Ouch. Kinda sucks. When we look for a PERSON to fullfill all thoses things in our lives, we MUST know how much we will be let down. GOD is the only one who can do that. When we get angry, our get our feelings hurt, or tell someone off we should stop and ask ourselves why we are so worked up. Did the person commit a sin against you, or did they just do something you didnt like? People who are in Christ Jesus should not live the 50/50 relationship mentality. If you scratch my back I will scratch yours. We can't be friends based on the cirumstance ... its unstable! And our close friends should be those who refine us and who we refine. So many times we think of close relationships as the place where it is ok to sin. Who else can you gossip too, or lie to, or be bitter and angry to, and whatever sins you deal with. NO! Because we are close we should make each other more like God. If we really care about each other, we need to help each other be more and more like Christ. We should push each other to Him. But most importantly we should just love each other with all of our heart and expect nothing in return; which is so contradictory to the worlds view.
And as far as opposite sex friendships go, there were a lot of questions brought up tonight. I actually learned a lot here. Heather said girls have been trained so much to "guard your heart, guard your heart" and not let guys in. And I am not going to lie, after getting hurt one time I had that mentality (and still do to some extent). I thought I would just be friends with the guys in my life, but never get close to them, never let them see the real me. But she thinks this is unhealthy to a certian extent. We are not called to be transparent with the same sex only. It never says in the Bible! But there are lines. Advice we were given was to ask yourself if what you are about to share would be something you would be comfortable sharing with a biological brother than its probablly safe to share with your brothers in Christ. We must make sure we don't have motives for sharing things with them. Women are so good at manipulating, dont use this kind of intimacy as a weapon. But we have to be careful not to be stumbling blocks for each other. And they said that girls should not be afraid to ask a guy what his intentions are with her, especially if he has become a distraction to her. SO GOOD! I never really thought about it, and I think we are afraid of rejection. But if you are spending your time wondering if he likes you or doesn't like you (as more than a platonic friend), than he has probablly become a distraction, maybe even an idol, in your life. We spend too much of our precious time being distracted! God does not need us single people distracted, He has so much for us to do. So just ask your friend. And this goes for guys too. If he is a great, godly man he wont get mad or stop being your friend (although things may be uncomfortable for a bit), but I think he will respect you for wanting to stay focused on Jesus Christ. I did not mean to ramble on for this long ... hopefully I have encouraged you in some way tonight! God Bless