So it seems that the green eyed monster has been weighing on me lately. I dont think I have a horrible self esteem, although its not the best. And I know that God has created me in His image, that HE thinks Im lovely, He is enthralled by me! WOW! So that should make you slap your self outta the blues. But I think I havent truly trusted Him, Im still trying to do things on my own, in my flesh. I find myself getting jealous of little, stupid things! GROSS! I find myself wanting what others have, the relationships they have, or even just blessings God has given them. I catch myself almost everytime though, AMEN! GOD is so faithful to remind me when I am out of line. He constantly convicts me as soon as the thoughts enter my mind. He doesnt give me the time to entertain the thoughts! I am constantly reminded that I am no where near being who God wants me to be. AHHH! But I just have to keep reminding myself I am a work in progress. I am called to be perfecting not PERFECT! And it seems that since I dont like to ask for help, I have just been suffering alone. ALONE ... not a fun feeling, but Christ is living in me! Maybe I am too dependent on human company, instead of letting God keep me company. I am such a people person, yet being vulnerable with another human being scares the mess outta me. Im so scared of ...everything and yet I am reminded that fear = sin. Im not trusting God with my ALL! So Im really gonna try and cry out for help, try and be transparent with my brothers and sisters, and REALLY let God have the drivers seat. So any prayers would be greatly appreciated!