So do you ever catch yourself acting in a way that makes you sick to your stomach? Its so easy to spot the sins in other peoples lives, but when we see it in our own heart it makes us sick! This is exactly how I felt when I realized that I was storing up this anger and bitterness from someone hurting my feelings, only to see that I had carried these feelings over to my other relationships. I have let myself become scared to love, scared to care becuase I dont want to get my feelings hurt again. Well NEWSFLASH everyone is not gonna always please me, people are gonna hurt my feelings, people will let me down, but God won't! Maybe God knows that I had put that relationship above Him. Someone once told me that God knows the person (people) we most desire approval from and purposly withholds it from us, so that we will lean on HIM! And what good does being scared do? Who does it help? 1 John 4:18 says "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love". Yet how often do I LIVE in fear? This fear of rejection, fear of not being loved by this world. It just makes me sick! Why have I wasted 23 years of my life living in this pit. Thinking I have to have apporaval and acceptance from anyone other than my God. God has called us to agape love. We are to give and keep giving EVEN when we receive NOTHING in return. We are to love in ATTITUDE and ACTION! I have got to stop loving based on feelings! Feelings = flesh! I have to learn to be completely selfless with my love. I dont deserve ANYTHING! I know that if I can learn to biblically love (not worldly love) my brothers and sisters in Christ then I will be set free from this bitterness that I have been dealing with. God can set me free!
"Generally speaking, to have the happiness, joy, and fullfillment you desire, you must put yourself aside and place God and others first. In regards to your relationship with God, set your heart on glorifying God whether you get your way or not". Martha Peace
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